Beer Social Club - Boules
Division C Winners 2009
Here is a first draft of a new single rules book, which aims to replace the two old books that have previously been in circulation. There's nothing particularly different in there to what you're used to - just an attempt to bring it up to date, and add in a few items that weren't actually written down previously.
View in either 
Adobe PDF or 
Word.
Beer Social Club Boules team are in Division 2 of the Axe Valley Boules League.
Each game starts at 7.30 p.m. with 5 games to be played.
3 Games of pairs, each player has 3 Boules to throw
2 Games of Triples, each player has 2 Boules to throw.
For All 2010 Fixtures and League Tables click to go to the Boules League Web Site
Congratulations to the Club team for winning C Division in the summer of 2009. The picture shows some of the team celebrating with their spoils.
Lanky Sam Reports -
Click Here For All of Lanky Sam's Reports Club's Fixtures Captain Mimi's Report
This week the team played two matches as one was due to a posponement last week because of Regatta commitments from some of our players. The first match was against the Gerrard Arms.
Beer Social Club - Champions 2009
Lanky Sam Summarises the Season
The last report from Lanky Sam to summarise an exciting and successful season. The team, gathered together from an array of potential but yet untested talent merged together to form a tight knit group of outstanding ability, charismatic personalities, brimming with vigour and vitality. And then there was Mimi, our captain. Cajoled into performing a position no one else wanted after an unfortunate pre season split from some of the club's promoted team from last season, Mimi functioned with great credit, taking his position very seriously despite some unmerciful but good humoured ribbing from the other members of the elite squad. Who can forget his early addiction to Grouse and Gay which helped him out of many a scrape, although performances waned somewhat as his reliance on this nectar declined. Then was the strange disappearance of hoops and rakes which Mimi had deposited with great care in a safe place known only to him. They were never seen again although the hoops he brought as replacements were of such a strange shape, they could only have been made by the great dexterity of his two little pooches whilst on doggy drugs. Then there was the strange disappearance of the missing flowers, something Mimi is extremely reluctant to further any more information. And of course there was his brilliant impression of Don Estelle complete with skinny ivory white legs projecting from his calf length khaki shorts. To attempt to play boules whilst performing a rendition of Whispering Grass was truly amazing. You lovely boy. His playing ability was also noteworthy but to save his embarrassment those notes will not be reported in this column. He did have a 69% win record which is creditable. Thanks then to Mimi, then for these qualities. He can take great encouragement to know that he can only improve next year. Thanks Mimi, a true team player.
The team finally got together when 'very accurate' Bob and 'Pipe Man' Maurice joined the team. They were the old stagers, the experience the team were looking for. Bob brought his undoubted skill and experience to be the equally most 'capped' player with 32 games and he had a win record of 72%. This could easily have been more if it were not for his courageous and aggressive play and his encouraging theory of 'why settle for one point when three are available' His sometimes too accurate bouling gifted the other teams with points they did not deserve. Bob has been a most valuable and popular member of the club, thanks for all your support Bob.
Maurice has earned his spurs this season by being always available and by destroying the confidence of his opponents with his smoke screens of immense power. Pistes were covered in a shroud of mist as Maurice through the gloom produced some fine performances in his 62% win rate. Well done Maurice, keep puffing through to next year. Trevor formed the third prong of the Seaton/Colyford triumvirate. Some sound play early on saw Trevor record an 88% win rate but this was not on the scale of real achievement as he played too few games and against lesser opposition. Hopefully we will see Trevor more frequently next year.
Pete the Coach, always a valuable contributor to the team for his great coaching acumen (get your balls closer to the jack than theirs) are words of wisdom that rank head and shoulders above the words of Alex Ferguson and Clive Woodward, With his vast area of sporting knowledge Pete could surely transfer even our cricket team into world beaters. His playing skills are second (or maybe third fourth or even twenty first) to none and he ended the season with a healthy 60% win ratio. Thank you coach for all your input, we will be needing you next year. Behind every good man is a good woman, such is the case with Jackie, Pete's lady wife and far behind Pete she is. It was Jackie who brought a touch of glamour to the team and some very useful contributions to the playing ability of the team. She, in her twelve encounters had a win rate of 67%. Well done Jackie.
Next came the backbone of the team, that man of vast experience and girth, Big Kim. Unfortunately Kim was absent from more games that we would have liked due to work commitments. On the piste he was far from “all at sea” and played some scintillating games although his win ratio of 59% belied the fact that he remains one of the team's finest players and this statistic does not take into account the fact that he often played under the burden of work and alcohol pressure. Kim also acted as driver on many away matches and the team are very grateful for his all round contribution. Without Big Kim it is doubtful if the team would ever have got off the ground this year. We all look forward to your invaluable input next year, Kim.
Lanky Sam was the other member from last year's successful team. This year he had an extremely difficult task, supporting Captain Mimi as his doubles and trebles partner and trying to keep him on the straight and narrow whilst Mimi displayed his captain's duties. Mimi even valiantly attempted to write one or two reports in Sam's absence and Sam had to scan carefully with his censorship pen to avoid Mimi going off on strange imaginary tangents. Thus Lanky Sam, in spite of the onerous task of child minding Mimi, obtained a win ratio of 81% and managed a report of entirely factual and hopefully informative information, unlike the fanciful meanderings of Captain Mimi. Sam will be back next season to continue the work in the Second Division.
Thus the team was formed. However seeking the quest for excellence, scouts were sent out to head hunt the infamous pair of Derek, 'Brock' Copsey and Paul 'Sparky' Vine. What a wealth of talent they brought to the team in only their first season of playing boules. Derek, the Terry Thomas cad (hallooooo) of the team performed admirably and returned a 56% win ratio in only his first season. Highly commendable Derek, that statistic will be even better next year. His 'Arthur Daley' dealings prevented Sparky Paul from playing the amount of games that would have benefitted this new, outstanding talent. Unerringly accurate he attained a win ratio of 67% and with experience gained this season he will be a force to be reckoned with. I hasten to add that the epithet “would you buy a used car from this man?” could not apply to honest Sparky. (Pint of Branoc please, Paul).
So there we have the newly promoted team. We must take this opportunity to thank Jane Aplin for our wondrous food after home games, it was delicious Jane. A lucky man Kim! Also anyone who came to support us and all those who joined in some of our practice sessions, some ability on show there. If any one wishes to play whether they have played before or not (remember Derek and Paul) contact one of the team, Kim and Mimi have numbers on the Web Site. Thanks also to Dave 'Bilko' Mutter who compiled the web site and spent many hours installing the reports (in Mimi's case deciphering them) onto the site and thanks to all the drivers who made sure that a full complement of players turned up at every match. The team are now having a well earned rest and will be back next season. Watch this space!!!!
2010 Beer Club fixtures
You can sort this table by clicking on the Headers: Date, Home or Away
| Date | Home | Vs | Away |
|---|---|---|---|
| {Date} | {Home} | {Vs} | {Away} |
Team Report from Captain Mimi in June 2009 :-
The Beer Social Club boules team has many diverse and unique parts to it. Players from near and far, some needing visas just to take part. Gathering weekly to do battle and flex our mite with friend and foe alike within the league.
BOB: Who has been known to score more points for the opposition than he does for us at times.
MAURICE: A man with a smoking bonfire under his nose keeping the gnats at bay.
SPARKY PAUL: Who is sometimes a bit of a live wire.
PETE THE COACH: With his catch phrase "Get your boules closer than theirs".
BIG KIM: Captain of the sea, part time taxi driver for the team and all-round good egg.
BROCK THE BADGER:A newly conscripted recruit to the fold (Why "badger" is a mystery yet to be resolved).
LANKY SAM: The scribe writing up the reports with many a humorous word or two, usually at my expense.
TREVOR: The reserve who can be called on in times of need.
Not forgetting of course CAPTAIN MIMI leader of the pack.
There you have it, a group of individuals coming together to become the Magnificent Seven? Six or sometimes Eight.
What a team! A real force to be reckoned with. Keep up the good work lads.
This report was solely written by Captain Mimi whose literacy skills equate to his bouling ability. (Post Script by Lanky Sam)