The draw was made and we were off with Little John taking on Steve in a close game and it proved to be that Steve was the better player on the night winning 6-9. Next was Jackanory James were he continued his debut season with a good win over George 9-5. Lanky Sam stalwart of the team was in disappointing form and succumbed to a 3-9 defeat. Badger did not have a good game at all losing to Jen 0-9. Could Capt meme stop the riot “you bet” he won as he beat mike in a close game 9-6. Last to play was woody who needed to win to force a play off. He was playing Dave with those mysterious X-ray specs of his which unfortunately gave him that edge wining 5-9. That means we had lost 2-4 and our cup run which had been so good for the past few years had come to an end.
Next week we are away to the Royal Clarence A where we will need all the luck and as much divine intervention we can get? After our recent run of form we will do our best there is no doubt of that!
We are sailing or is it sinking - Captain Meme Reporting
Samwise of Ganges AKA Lanky Sam was due to make his first journalistic debut of the season.
Things don’t always run according to plan and as a result of his work load preparing for his verbal assault on the ear drums of the unsuspecting about his trip to the land of the Bombay b*m, India of course he has been unable to create a masterpiece on a par with great authors?
That means you’re stuck with the superb writing skills of Capt Meme full of great punctuation, grammar and speling of course.
The tide was far enough in for the Ship Castaways to sail over from Axmouth following the smell of the alcohol and drop anchor at Beer.
Jackanory James partnered by Woody (Trevor) who was playing for the first time this season after returning from his visit to Lanky Sam in that continent of the falling trousers and toilet rolls, and celebrating deliveries from the stork within his family.
The spectators were all gathered in the gallery eagerly awaiting the contest to commence. The honours were evenly shared in the early exchanges with the scores standing at 3-3 the Ship changed gear and sailed away to a 3-9 victory.
The daring duo in the guise of Sparky and Capt Meme locked grappling hooks with Terry and Pete.
Cannons blazing and cutlasses at the ready we boarded the piste and launched our first salvos the Ship returned fired. This see saw battle continued with neither side gaining any advantage ending in six points apiece.
Beer’s shots began to find the target with greater accuracy blasting the Ship into a 9-6 defeat.
Badger and Lanky Sam were the last of the pairs to play in a race to drop anchor against Dave and Chris.
The club’s duo made a cracking start taking the lead and extending it Chris and Dave decided to have another drink and that did the trick. They clawed their way back taking end after end until they had taken a slight lead. This proved to be decisive point for the Ship taking the remaining points required to triumph 6-9 and go 2-1 up in the match.
On to the triples and it’s Sparky, Jackanory James and Woody verses Nick, Pete and Alan. The contest got underway with the Ship cruising away and establishing a healthy lead over Beer’s trio. The boys reply was to take the next two ends and two points. Just as they were getting back in the swing of things they made a disastrous turn, jibed the Ship took full advantage running out 2-9 winners.
Three one down and the match lost for the third time this season in three matches. Could Beers trio turn things around and make the score 2-3. I’m sure Dave, Chris and Terry would have a different outcome in mind.
In these times of recession we all have to make cut backs so instead of the three tenors the club would have to make do with the three four pound fifty’s namely Badger, Meme, Lanky Sam in order of play. The Ships armada set sail to try and scupper us before we left port so to speak for the last game of the night.
Beer’s thirteen pound fifty worth won the first end two nil only to see the Ship unfold the spinnaker and pull in front to lead 2-4. It was not going well for the clubs trio but a cunning change to their tack ticks saw them change the order of play to Meme, badger and lanky. This worked as we won the next end had the tide began to ebb for the ship with the current now flowing in Beer’s favour. Yes, as we won all the remaining ends to win the game 9-4, Congratulation to the Ship who had still won the match 3-2. A close game which could of swung either way though a good time was had by all
After clearing away everything we headed for the bar with the charms of Ashley the barman and to devour the sandwiches of big Kim made by his own fair hands?
Next week the Whitbread cup as we take on the Gerrard B for the second time in nearly as many weeks.
A Close Shave - Captain Meme Reporting
In this weeks gripping adventure we all boarded the mystery machine, AKA sparky’s van driven by the mystery man himself Big Kim. We arrived at the kings Arms amid all the old folks homes just about in one piece “shaken but not stirred” and raring to go.
Again this week we were missing several members of the team some were away in foreign parts or out of action due to ill health. Having pulled a few strings and roping in a friend of a friend of a friend we managed to assemble a full team if not at full strength.
Tracey and Tom threw down the gauntlet only for Big Kim partnered by Jackanory story teller extraordinaire James to pick it up and get the first game of pairs underway. Both sides took points from the early exchanges though it was the Kings and Queens (KQ) who held the lead. Beer started to assert them selves and take a slight lead of their own. This see saw battle continued for the whole of the game until Beer were holding shot and with Kim’s last shot he nudged the jack in the direction of the KQ and disaster the two shots required for the opposition to win 6-9 in round one .
Paul. B the last minute substitute and Capt Meme took on the KQ’s Capt Steve and Maureen. In the first end Paul & Meme had the points in sight only for the jack to be sprung with last boule of the end scoring the KQ two points. The following end was even worse as each time we put a boule in the head and held shot only to see it dislodged. Have you ever had that Titanic feeling, we did as we lost five shots to go 0-7 behind. Even worst as it turned into the Little Big Horn and we were routed 0-9, two nil to the king’s arms.
Into the valley of death rode Lanky Sam and Sparky waiting in ambush were Nick and Mark. If you thought the last game of pairs was bad this one was even worse as if they’d disappeared into the Bermuda triangle the onslaught ferocious, savage and all over in two ends. 0-9 again with the match lost could anything be salvaged or were we on course for the dreaded white wash.
Jackanory James and Big Kim who had scored our only points joined forces with Sparky. In opposition Tracey, Tom and Nick were looking to continue the demolition of the Beer team would it be another nine nil?
It nearly was but in our favour as our trio made light work of their adversaries taking a 9-1 victory what a turn up for the books. The resistance movement had made it’s first counter strike and claimed a scalp for the club.
Concluding the match with the last game of triples and hoping for another miracle Paul, Meme and Lanky Sam Meet and locked horns with Capt Steve, Maureen and Mark in a last stand for the honours of their teams. Beer got the better of the early exchanges and leap into the lead which they increased. Just as the KQ started their own resistance movement, slowly creeping closer and closer. It was getting so close a good strike from either side would decide the game. The penultimate end was so close you could feel the tension and excitement not knowing which way the game would swing. Beer had been triumphant taking the points required for victory to win 9-7. It almost felt as though we had won the match after our disappointing start but 2-3 was not a bad result considering everything in the end.
Leaving the piste with its cold and damp air heading straight for the warm of the bar we quickly noshed all the food washing it down with plenty of liquids none alcoholic of course, if you believe that you’ll believe anything.
Reluctantly leaving the bar we headed home in the mystery machine and dwelling of how much worse things could have been and what a lucky escape we’d had.
Our next game is at home against the Ship Castaways providing we’ve got a team of course, maybe we will see you there.
Samwise of Ganges returns - Captain Meme Reporting
“Yesss! Yesss! Yesss!” As famously said in Seattle by Meg Ryan another boule season gets under way. With excitement, trepidation, thermals and umbrella’s good company and hopefully a few laughs.
Some changes to the line up of the team this year with fishy making the most of the transfer window.
Smokestack not available until late in the season if at all due to his ill health, get well soon Smokestack!
We welcome a new recruit to the fold James whose nickname has yet to be decided and the return of Badger.
The liquid sunshine managed to abate as we got under way with Little John and Badger playing in the first game of the evening against Ros and Steve.
Ros and Steve were playing up to their usual standard and with our duo struggling to find their range, the Gerrard B (GB) eased into a 5-1 lead. The following ends proved to be a much closer affair with both sides giving their all. Ros and Steve still managed to stretch their lead to win 1-9 first blood to the GB.
James and reserve extraordinaire Big Kim set to work on the pairing of Kaz and George. With James settling in quickly and Big Kim supporting they soon made their intentions clear and forged ahead. Kaz and George fought back but it was too little to late and Beer’s duo had succeeded in winning 9-3.
Sparky and Capt Meme had an act to follow as they readied themselves for what was to come against Jen and Dave with his oddly tinted glasses. Were they his secret weapon, x-ray spec perhaps? What ever they were they were working well giving Dave this uncanny knack to dislodge our boules at will. The GB pairing quickly made it look effortless and soon reached a score of 1-9 not for the first time that night.
At this point Lanky Sam arrived returning after a three month expedition to India to which Sparky said you look just like Bill or was it Ben from the flower pot men dressed like that, never mind Sam we’re glad you’ve returned safe were upon we welcomed him back, as he’d travelled back from London that day and would view and support the progress of the team.
With James and Big Kim in form they were put into action in the first of the triples and joined by the mighty little John against Steve, Ros and Kaz.
The trio from the GB made a great start and pulled away from the Beer team. Big Kim, Little John and James returned fire in the next end and the spoils were theirs. Unfortunately for us Ros, Steve and Kaz upped their game and once again we found ourselves on the wrong end of 1-9 defeat, and with that the match was lost.
Now to the last game of the night and to try and save some dignity. It was Badger, Sparky and Meme for Beer and for the Gerrard would be Jen, George and Dave with his mystery specs.
Dave’s specs were working well again and aided by his compatriots the threesome took an early lead.
You know what they say “when the going gets tough go and get a pint” and this seemed to do the trick with the club taking several ends in a row. Soon passing the score of the opposition they had the wind behind them (probably too many beans for tea) and soon it became 9-4 and victory for the trio.
We’d lost our first game but only just and a good time was had by all the only thing missing was some sun and warmth but never mind.
Returning to the club to demolish the sandwich’s which is where we really missed Smokestack and to sink a few more bevies before both sides would call it a night.
We travel nearly as far as Lanky Sam did on his trip to India, when next week we journey to out reaches of Seaton and the Kings arms to play the Kings and Queens wish us luck.